Tuesday, December 22, 2009

WWE Monday Night Raw 12/21/09 Results and Review Johnny Damon Hosts

WWE Monday Night Raw 12/21/09 Results

Melina, Kelly Kelly, and Gail Kim defeated Alicia Fox, Maryse, Jillian
Mark Henry, Kofi Kingston, and Evan Bourne defeated Legacy & Randy Orton
John Cena defeated Jack Swagger
Chris Masters defeated Carlito
Sheamus defeated MVP
The Miz defeated Santino

WWE Monday Night Raw 12/21/09 Review

This is already lame. Johnny Damon sucks…go Mariners! Sorry. He just didn’t seem that well versed, as is the truth for most of the guest hosts. A poorly timed, and stupid “Tiger Woods” joke happened here. A blonde was chasing a guy in a Tiger Suit with a Golf Club. This was stupid. WWE is really trying hard to make me hate them.

Melina, Kelly Kelly, and Gail Kim defeated Alicia Fox, Maryse, Jillian

Is it just me or do the divas do the same 4 moves. All of them! How many times do I have to see them try to pull a good Hurricanrana? Geez. This match was lame, it wasn’t timed well at all and wasn’t given any time. This sucked, I didn’t like it, although I’d hit Maryse up if I was single and my name was Batista…just saying.

The Dx guys ended up going to “little people’s” court…man they are going to get a lawsuit on their hands…I’m sure.

Mark Henry, Kofi Kingston, and Evan Bourne defeated Legacy & Randy Orton

I’m surprised Evan Bourne is still employed. This six man tag seems tired, but the guys made it fast and worth watching. Orton being a coward meant Legacy would have to do a lot of the dirty work. It was easily done too, with everyone getting worked and proving that Legacy sucks. Kofi’s delayed tag into the match made for a good amount of anticipation for him to lock up with Orton. Kofi was on a roll, but that doesn’t mean much in six man tags, considering Orton has lost in a lot of six man tags over the course of this year. Dibiase got clocked hard with Trouble in Paradise and this thing was over. Orton’s team loses, in a fast paced, frenetic match up. Legacy and Orton should go their separate ways.

The Little People’s court segments were stupid, and they just kept working on it…to an annoying effect. Dx has done stupid things in the past, but this is a new low, even for them.

John Cena defeated Jack Swagger

As soon as Swagger’s music came out, I immediately rolled my eyes. Swagger? Oh man, Swagger is ready to get buried. That’s right, Swagger is about due to get thrown back down to Ecw and eventually out. Right? I mean he’s going to fight Cena here and I knew he wasn’t going to win. Cena has to bury Swagger or…turn heel after a string of losses. Which one seems more likely to you?

Exactly.

The first half of this match was ALL John Cena, no joke. He was on his way to easily burying Jack Swagger, and I thought this match was going to be three minutes of hell for Swagger. We then cut to commercial break, and on return, Cena was getting worked over by the All American American. In fact, I was surprised just how much offense John Cena took in this match, getting hit with Jack Swaggers best moves, and still able to kick out. Of course, Super Cena showed up, after being tired out and just did his moves, made Swagger tap out, and ruined an otherwise interesting match up.

Chris Masters defeated Carlito

Carlito has to be getting fired soon. There’s no other reason why a superstar is on such a downward spiral after getting such a huge push earlier this year. Him and Primo are on their way out, it has to be the truth. I mean that’s what it seems like when watching Chris Masters easily handle him and knock him out.

Sheamus defeated MVP

It must be the night of burials, because MVP couldn’t win this one. I didn’t think he could win, simply because if he did, it would make Sheamus look weak. MVP didn’t even get much offense in, this was a complete burial of MVP. This was stupid, I hate Sheamus’ run…and I hate how the WWE makes the champion wrestle every week against inferior opponents.

Post match, Cena ran out and started talking smack. He wanted a rematch, but it didn’t work out.

The Miz defeated Santino

Santino came out dressed as Santa Claus. It was kind of funny. This match was entertaining, without making The Miz look weak. I liked it, in fact, this is my pick for Match of the Night! Santino losing doesn’t bug me, and he threw in some great counters, which I thought was awesome. The Miz continues his heel role and is quite good at it. I never thought I would say that.

WHAT THE HELL! THEY DID A RECAP OF EARLIER IN THE SHOW OF THE DX LITTLE PEOPLE’S COURT! WWE REALLY PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE WITH THIS! COME ON, YOU THINK I DIDN’T WATCH IT THE FIRST TIME? I HATE THIS CRAP. WWE HAS LOST THEIR MIND, SERIOUSLY LOST THEIR MIND! DX IS THE WORST TEAM RIGHT NOW, AT LEAST TO ME.

Oh and if that wasn’t bad enough, they end the show with Jericho fighting a ton of little people. Oh and he was dressed as Santa, and man…this sucked. I hated this junk. WWE really outdid themselves in the terrible department.

To end the show Dx let the little guy, Hornswoggle kind of join Dx as the mascot.

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